Escort Attorneys: Should you hire a DUI lawyer or someone local?

People charged with drunk driving are frequently tempted to hire a local lawyer. A lot of attorneys focus on this by suggesting that he/she is friends with the judge. Should you hire someone local or someone who really knows the science and legal arguments pertaining to DUI defense? The “local lawyer” option is the old “I golf with the judge” mentality. So a client picks the guy who actually golfs with the judge, and what does that mean? Does the case get dismissed? Does the judge say not guilty at a bench trial? Does the prosecutor offer a non-alcohol? Does the cop run and hide? The idea here is that the judge goes easier on someone who has hired his/her buddy-attorney. But that’s not true. The case and client stand on their own, and this assumes a guilty plea. If the defense lawyer assumes a guilty plea from the start, the client may as well save the thousand bucks and go plead himself/herself guilty. There’s a story shared by Glynn Delatte, a Louisiana DWI lawyer I know from the National College for DUI Defense, where Glynn tells clients to hire a couple of exotic dancers instead of an “escort” attorney. An escort attorney is one who walks into court with you, holds your hand, and pleads you guilty. The escort attorney does this day-after-day, repeatedly pleading clients guilty. When the prosecutor sees the escort attorney walk in, he prepares the plea form. When the judge sees the escort attorney walking into the courtroom, the judge says, “Hey, here comes another guilty plea. This will be easy.” Glynn says to save the thousand bucks, and go hire a couple of beautiful exotic dancers to go to court with you instead. Walk in proudly with a gorgeous woman on each arm. Walk in front of the prosecutor and sign the guilty plea. Take each woman’s arm back into yours and walk before the judge. Sit down between these woman while you wait for the judge to call your case. Go before the judge and plead guilty. Walk back to those exotic dancers and take their arms into yours and walk out of the courthouse. The exotic dancers will charge you less than the attorney, and you’ve accomplished the same thing that the escort attorney would have accomplished. But with one small twist: Both the prosecutor and the judge were impressed and wondered, “Who the hell was that guy?”